The one I cannot watch

I know that the older I get the more things seem to fall apart, on me, that is. I remember being a child and seeing my mother suffer with motion sickness. I just couldn't understand it and it was annoying.

Well, a few years ago, while driving around the hills of Tuscany (sounds romantic, doesn't it), I discovered just how annoying motion sickness can be. I was in the back seat and had to try and focus on a fixed point so I would not be sick.

Then, whilst pregnant, I discovered that the descent on an airplane made me horrible sick. Fortunately, that ended with each baby's arrival.

So I know, I cannot read in the car or sit in the back seat during mountain drives or use a micro-fiche machine too fast (thank goodness those are becoming obsolete) what I did not know was that I would not be able to watch videos of my children. This one in particular...

 

21 seconds of pure nausea. But I hope Grandma and Grandpa enjoy it! 

39 weeks and 5 days

Tomorrow is the big day and I still have my ankles! I also have some love handles but let's focus on the ankles.

Since I won't be posting for a few days, I thought I would say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my new baby boy - ASA. I love you already.

Three Days and Counting - The Roller Coaster Ride

When I was11 or 12, my dad took me to Kings Dominion. The latest, newest, scariest, most hardcore  roller coaster had just opened up. It was called The Grizzly and it was a wooden ride that creaked and swayed as it hurled through a double figure eight and dropped you the through the forest.

Of course we had to ride it. And, of course, we waited a little longer in line to ride in the first car. Because, we could tame The Grizzly, no problem.

This is my roller coaster MO. I am not scared of the first car. That is until it starts creaking its way slowly up the first and largest and most terrifying hill. And when you get to the top of that hill, the operator lets the first car slide just barely over the peak, dangling you there, teasing you.

Its usually at this moment that I start thinking, "What the hell was I thinking?" What am I doing up here?" this is quickly followed by a serious of fast thoughts...

-There's no way to get off.
-You are going to have to suck it up.
-Lame-er people than I have done this
-You cannot complain because you acted all hardcore and wanted to sit in the front car and talked too big of a game about it.
_CRAP!

And then the roller coaster car drops, along with my heart and stomach and the ride is over way too fast and I am considering standing in line to do it all over again.

This is much like being 3 days away from having a second baby (at least for me). I feel like I am dangling over the highest, scariest peak and thinking, "Holy crap, what have we done?' The quick thoughts are much the same:

- I can't get out of this now
-You are going to have to suck it up
-Lame-er people than us have managed
-You cannot complain because you both decided together not to return to using birth control
-CRAP!

I know that the ride is going to be over way too fast and at the end, I will be thrilled and have no regrets.

I also know that there won't be a third ride. After all, taming The Grizzly, meh... not so hard,; taming MRA and ASA, on the other hand, well.. that could take a lifetime.

Domestic Enemies of the Pregnant Mom

From the Pregnant Chicken - 8/16/2011
-------------------------------------------------------
The Stephen King Storyteller. Gather round kids, it's birth Story Time. Want to hear about a horrible episiotomy? No? Tough, you're pregnant so that means that it's compulsory for you to hearing about every disgusting birth detail from the woman in line at the bank. After all, it's important to know how your next door neighbor lost her mucus plug at a BBQ. (Gork)


The Lame Namer. It’s doubtful that you and your partner have put a lot of thought into choosing a name so it’s important these folks weigh in on this decision with a couple of names they thought of on the way into work. Plus, they hate the name you were thinking of because if reminds them of a girl in high school that had a funny birthmark on her chin. Just nod and say you'll consider KanDi with a heart over the "i" and leave it at that.
The XS XL Examiner. This is the person that will ask you if there's two in there or are you sure you aren't due tomorrow instead of three months. This is the same person that will point out how tiny you are if they feel this the case as well. "Where are you hiding it?" "It looks like you've swallowed a grape." It's hard to say if it's supposed to be funny or a compliment but they usually make you feel like you should either be shot and mounted over a fireplace or that something is wrong with your now creepy, peanut baby.

The Eliza Boo Little. Just you wait Henry Higgins! This person jumps in anytime you look like you're just a little too happy about having a baby and says "Just you wait until the baby comes. You'll never sleep, eat, laugh, breathe, screw, or go to Cincinnati again!". Clearly you don't realize how difficult it is to have a baby so it’s up to them to make sure you don’t get too excited. Babies are awful. Stupid babies.

Dr. Oz It really is amazing that you made it as far as you have considering how reckless you're being with your diet and daily routine. Normally they wouldn’t care of course, but seeing as there’s a baby involved, they'd better get in there and smack that coffee out of her hand; or better yet, just give some dirty looks and shake their head. That will teach you. After all, they don’t want their tax dollars going towards your kid’s tail removal someday.

The Accidental Whorist. Such a charming question to ask someone if their pregnancy was an accident. It's important for these folks to let you know that they don't approve of your reproductive schedule and perhaps you should consult them next time. Clearly you are too, young, old, fertile, fat, funny or tall to have a baby at this juncture in your life and frankly they are surprised at your utter lack of judgement. These are the same people that say, "Didn't you see that?" when you stub your toe and who don't like pizza. They're just pointless.

The Sex Obessesed. Surely if you already have a girl, you're going to want a boy and vice versa. If you don't have any children they may assume you want a girl and your partner wants a boy because that's how it works. These are also the people that will swallow their tongues if you say you aren't finding out the sex. "Don't you want to know?!", "That would drive me crazy!" Perhaps it has, Asshat. Perhaps it already has.

The Egg Inquisitioner. This is the person that asks you if you've conceived naturally. It's classy because, if you're used fertility treatments you have to reveal a very person, private part of you life and if you didn’t, then you also has to reveal a very person, private part of you life. It's a delicious catch 22 and there is no tactful way to answer this so feel free to just fart and walk away.

The Surprised Blow Up Doll. These are the folks that chime in around 37 weeks and say things like “Are you STILL pregnant.” and “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” and extra helpful “I guess it just doesn’t want to come out” – which is nice because it points out the delivery you are *clearly* putting off and it’s a little gross too.

The Silver Back Belly Toucher. Oh, you just knew if was coming. We all love the folks that just walk up and start molesting your stomach. It's especially nice when you're sister-in-law's boyfriend that smells like cheese does it and makes a “MMmmmm” noise at the same time.

This is my personal rule of thumb with this one: if you would be comfortable with them touching your thigh when not pregnant, then they would probably be okay to touch your belly....with permission.....and a hazmat suit......holding chocolate. You know, like when your girlfriend taps your leg at the movie theatre and says, "Oh my God, I forgot to tell you that I slept with David Beckham!" – I feel she would be okay to touch your belly.


Most of you are going to totally get this list yet there are always a few people that think they just can't win when it comes to pregnant woman. I would argue that pregnant gals have to deal with things like heartburn, nausea, hemorrhoids and learning what perineum is and none of us should have to know about the taint, so no. No, you can't win. Sorry. I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's best you know [insert thigh pat here.]

As for what we all should say to a pregnant woman, I love this comment that was left on the blog:

"I could see this guy eyeballing me in the elevator despite my best efforts to focus on the numbers. Right before he got off the elevator. He paused, looked at me and said, 'I bet you will have a beautiful baby.'"

I like to think he looked like David Beckham.

http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/

No room at the Hotel Womb

Dear ASA,

I am excited to inform you that your stay at the Hotel Womb is nearly over. Hotel management needs a vacancy. I know you are warm and comfy and settled in but there is a lot of good stuff in store for you in your new home. Most importantly, there is a lot more room out here and you have a fabulous nursery, a great big brother, and a mostly great dog all awaiting you.

Hotel management (read: Mamma) would also like to eat sushi again, have more than a modest glass of wine (not to mention a margarita), wear shoes that buckle (particularly the brand new wedges bought this year), and lay on my back without getting light-headed. I would also like for you to discover toys that are meant to be squeezed - this does not include my bladder although you seem to have different ideas about that.

I can't wait to meet you when you are done baking! See you in less than 2 weeks baby boy!


XXOX

Sooooo, we are at THAT point in our relationship

Saturday night, date night.

Trusted friend and daughter come over to render babysitting services.

Hubby and I head out for a quick bite to eat and a movie.

Movie of choice - "Friends With Benefits". Funny movie, definitely all adult comedy. Its an adult kinda night.

Pre-movie conversation -

Me: " Did you see the package that just came from Amazon?"
Him: "No, what was it?"
Me: "New jar of butt paste. There is new packaging."
Him: "Whats it look like?"
Me: "Kinda the same tub as before but it has a new flip top. You don't have to unscrew it on and off anymore. Its awesome. Why didn't they think of that sooner?"
Him: "That is a nice feature."
Me: "Oh my God, I can't believe I just got excited over butt paste packaging."

Not only was there excitement but enough to talk about during what was surely our last date night for the foreseeable future.

Yeah, we really know how to bring sexy back!

30 Week belly and 32 week belly

The first one is from week 30...

 This is the week 32 shot. We can no longer see my shoes... but if we could they would be super cute red patent leather mary janes!

Week 30

Yes, I have made it to the third trimester and am officially 30 weeks preggo. I received an email from one of the pregnancy sites this week entitled, "Keeping Cool During a Hot Summer Pregnancy". I was hopeful that there might be some tips I could use because, quite frankly, I am freakin' hot.

Let's face it, its Florida, its humid as hell and I am carrying around about 25 extra pounds at 7.5 months pregnant. I am freakin' hot. ALL. THE. TIME.

These are the tips from the email:

1. Run errands, go for walks, and do outdoor tasks in the early morning or evening when it's cooler. (Uuumm, yeah, our low was 79 degrees last night and I am pretty sure that at that point during the night any place I need to run errands is closed. And even if it were open, I AM SLEEPING!)


Stay in the shade or indoors with air conditioning when temperatures exceed 90 degrees, and remember to limit your activity on those days. (Well, I work indoors but the the maintenance man said its freakin' hot in my office because although the air is a cool 58 degrees coming out of the vents , the motor is really small so it is not blowing anywhere - fantastic!)

Wear light-colored cotton clothing, which reflects sunlight, rather than dark colors, which absorb it. Growing up in the south, this is a kinda standard rule of thumb during the summer. So, when I was pregnant with the Notorious MRA I went shopping for maternity clothes with my mom. I was so, so, so very discouraged because it was spring and I wanted to buy light, airy, springy clothes. My mom pointed out there was a reason I was having trouble finding said colors in the maternity section.
 
Fast forward: this pregnancy I found and bought a crisp, new, white maternity t-shirt. I was happy, oh so happy. Until I saw a photo of myself in said t-shirt. My mom was right. There is a reason you don't see pregnant women wearing a lot of light colored cotton clothing. Its because we look like HUGE cotton balls walking down the street. Its not our best look.
 
Anyone got any useful tips on staying cool?

Memorial Day Eh PANE ride

Tomorrow we are going on an eh PANE. UP UP UP. And as you can guess we are taking the Notorious MRA with us. We are headed back to Virginia for the long weekend and to celebrate my Dad's 70th birthday.

It also happens to be Jonathan's birthday - so we are hoping to utilize the availability of family babysitters to go out for dinner, but I digress.

Traveling solo and as a couple, we have down pat. Traveling with a toddler... not so much. There is a lot more of the packing and a lot more things to forget and a lot less time to get it done. There are also SERIOUS consequences to forgetting something.

You, without kids, may be doubters. you may think I am making a bigger deal of this than necessary but let me assure you, you do not want to be in any row near us on the plane, when MRA's ears start popping and we don't have Poopy Puppy or juice, or the right blanket or whatever else he might need to soothe him.

Trust me when I say you will be thinking, "What the hell? Can't you get the kid some damn juice. Please for the love of God give him something because I cannot take the screaming for 2 hours." (I know because I have been the one thinking this before.)

And trust me, when I tell you we we will be thinking the same thing on this flight.

To complicate things a bit, I tend to get motion sick on flights when I am pregnant so I won't be able to help quite as much as normal. I will be concentrating on not vomiting.

Too bad boats with building blocks are too cumbersome to bring on a plane. We could learn all about some transportation and which kinds Mamma doesn't need a sick bag on.

Wish us luck!

The World of Denial

My World of Denial used to be pretty solid but 2011 has really changed all that.

First we started off the year, pregnant. PREGNANT! How did that happen (I know the biology but can't figure out when my body decided to play by the biological rules). It was several months before I really accepted it. Even through the first few rounds of ultrasounds, I still could not quite believe it. Hell, there are days I still don't  - but the with the growing belly and increased trips to the bathroom, its getting harder to deny that there is another guest in the Hotel Womb. And the somersaults whilst kicking thing. This little Wackadoodle definitely squirms, that's hard to deny.

Then there is Napa, sorta - I used to think Jonathan and I were merely wine enthusiasts, but after this trip I think that we are really cork dorks. Here is the case:

In December, we purchased a new wine cellar.

When we found out we were pregnant, we redesigned our closet around the wine.

In just a mere 5 months, we have outgrown said cellar.

We have had serious conversations about having to insure the wine and also about putting future inventory into outside wine storage.

We understand the brix level of grapes.

Last night I found Jonathan in the closet, in front of the cellar on the floor. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied that, "He was just checking on the wine." Now I am not saying there is not value in checking on the wine/cellar to insure that it is working properly but it wasn't a whole lot different than the way we check in on the Notorious MRA in the middle of the night. I'm just sayin' - cork dorks.

It sounds better than Wine Snob, don't you think?

Oh, and the world is supposed to end tomorrow, which makes me wonder why I went to work today. And now I have Blondie's song "Rapture" stuck in my head - nevermind the song talks about eating cars and not necessarily going to hell.

Shouldn't I be at home or better yet, the beach, spending these last few hours snuggling with one Notorious little boy???? Humph, maybe there is still a little solidity in the World of Denial.

See ya'll next week!

Week 20 belly

I am halfway there!!! According to the doctor, my belly size is perfect but it feels bigger that 20 weeks. And this little wackadoodle already thinks my uterus is Romper Room. He moves and grooves and rolls and quite frankly all I can picture is MRA and this one, a year from now, and the pounding poor Cooper and I are going to take.

(By the way, the Florida legislature has/is discussing a ban on the word uterus in session which, just makes me want to use it all the time. http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2011-04-06/news/os-cannon-randolph-uturus-20110406_1_uterus-randolph-house-democrats). The fact that this is even a topic of serious discussion, is... well...just sad.

I actually had a hard time getting out of a chair last night. What's a girl to do when the backless bar stool does not provide enough back support and the chairs are too low? In my case, Jonathan had to heave me up and out. lesson learned: Hold out for the perfect chair.

Week 19 Belly

Its week 19 and I managed to get a belly shot from Jonathan before running out the door. Again, not the best and the printed dress (by Weston Wear, who I LOVE) probably did not help... or maybe it did. My perspective is too skewed to tell anymore.

Anyway, during my last doctor visit, the doctor said my belly measurement was perfect so, I'm goin' with that.

Aaaaaannnnd, last week during the ultrasound, the tech said that Wackadoodle was 8 ounces. He actually did not call out baby Wackadoodle but that what we call HIM!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

I think I am too Old to be a Groupie

Jonathan and I have tickets to see Harry Connick Jr next week and I am very excited. I love Harry.

When Jonathan and I first started dating, HCJr was booked to play at Chastain Park in Atlanta. Chastain Park is a wonderful outdoor venue with built in tables and you can bring a picnic and wine. Jonathan put together a great picnic and we were seated next to some really fun people. It was starting out as very romantic until a few songs into the concert, the skies opened up and it poured down raining.

We made up for it a few years ago at JazzFest! We caught not only HCJr's set but also an impromptu session in one of the tents with Wynton Marsalis and Trombone Shorty. We have been Trombone Shorty fans ever since!

 Now this time around, we are headed backstage. My mom is friends with HCJr's dad and he managed to get us passes. While this is all unbelievably thrilling, it has also created a little panic for me.

What on earth am I going to wear? I will be 5 months pregnant. Seriously need some help in the going out while pregnant clothing department.

Also, what does one in their late 30s and 5 months pregnant do backstage?

Advice is welcomed!

It's A.....

Another boy! And everything is in the right place and he looks healthy!

So you may have guessed, we had our big ultrasound last Friday afternoon. Almost everyone who offered a prediction on this baby's gender thought it would be a girl. I don't know why except that since MRA is a boy maybe they just wanted us to have a girl.

Everyone also assumes that I want a girl. Which was not necessarily true. Having a girl was pretty intimidating and seemed like a lot more work. After all, we are already set up for another boy.

I don't know if I just jumped on the bandwagon or what, but I thought this baby was going to be a girl and so did Jonathan. But then... the ultrasound, and the unmistakable anatomy. I saw it and knew immediately.

I couldn't be happier or more excited. MRA gets a little bro to play with and I get to be surrounded by all my sweet boys!

Week 17 Day 4

So getting a baby bump photo is pretty hard to do.

I should clarify, getting a baby bump photo that I can accept for posting on this blog is hard to do, especially when the photographer is my husband who has less patience than MRA.

I am seriously considering phoning a friend to take the picture if I am going to continue this trend. At this point, I promise nothing.

But here it is - the bump at 17 and half weeks. Its true, at least with me, that you "show" quicker the second time around. The good news is, I am no longer in "the in between" and clearly in the, "She has to be pregnant realm".

Not completely in maternity wear but heading that direction very quickly.

Its the in-between that drives me nuts

I am not necessarily the most decisive person on the planet but I can say that I don't like the no-man's land in between. In between what, does not really matter. I don't like the being in between destinations or in between vacations, or in between a decision.

So here I sit, nearly 15 weeks pregnant and although I feel pretty darn well health wise, I feel pretty darn in between - not quite looking pregnant but not looking like myself either, just looking... in between, which translates to chunky.



I know that when you are pregnant, you are supposed to gain weight. That doesn't make it easy for me to necessarily accept nor does it make me feel attractive at this stage. Because, you see, the weight doesn't seem to stay only in the belly region for me. For me, the weight seems to go EVERYWHERE. I also know that this is probably more of my own perception of the distribution but, hey, its the way I feel.

I know in a another month or so, when I actually look pregnant, this won't bother me as much.But right now, its the in-between stage. My regular clothes don't fit and maternity clothes are too big. And this in-between business, well, I can leave it. Bring on the baby bump.

A Parental Unit Classic

Finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a shock. After having so much difficulty the first time, I just did not really believe that I would get pregnant again and certainly, if I were to get pregnant again, it would be the result of lots of trying and acupuncture and perhaps some return visits to the Reproductive Endocrinologist.

None of this was the case.

It took me some time to wrap my head around it. It just seemed so unbelievable. Telling my parents was going to be even more unbelievable.

I decided that since I could not tell them in person, I would send them a text of two positive pregnancy tests. So I called them bright and early Christmas morning and woke them up. I told them they needed to get Dad's phone because I sent them an important text.

This, is not quite enough info to get them moving. And so, the ordeal ensued. The Parental Unit responded that they were sleeping, then they did not know where the phone was, maybe it was in the car????
Looking in the car, well, that would involve getting dressed to go out and look for it. Oh, and by the way, they doubted that it was charged. But before they could go get the phone, they needed to go to the bathroom, and on, and on, and on.

Finally, my Dad gets the phone and opens the text. The conversation went something like the following...

Dad: "Honey, I don't know what this is. Did you get skis for Christmas?"

Me: "No Dad, look carefully. You don't know what that is?"

Dad: "No, it looks like skis. Did Jonathan get a boat?"

Me: "Dad, it says EPT."

Dad: "Do they make skis?"

Me: "No, show Mom. She'll know what it is."

Mom: "I don't know. It looks a lot like skis. What is it?"

Me: "Give the phone back to Dad."

Me: "Look, Dad, there are two with plus signs. Dad, I'm pregnant."

Dad: "Gina, Gina, come look at this! Do you know what this is? Look! Look carefully. Its two positive pregnancy tests."

Mom: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, What?"

Skis, pregnancy tests, tomato, toe mot to....