Wordless Wedesday (oops on Thursday)

The One With The Double-sided Tape, Redux

Several years back, my wonderful husband decided to help wrap some gifts for my best friend's baby shower in Denver while I packed our suitcases. After some time, he yelled from upstairs to me, "HONEY, i THINK THIS TAPE HAS GONE BAD... ITS... LIKE... STICKY... ON BOTH SIDES!!!!

I tried hard not to laugh (at least in front of him)  and explained that it was DOUBLE-SIDED tape. I should mention here that he knows how much I love this story. Really, because years later, I still find humor in it.

Fast forward to a few nights ago. The house is quiet save for the Christmas music is playing. Gifts for the boys are spread out before the two of us and we are diligently wrapping. After a few hours, we are close to finishing and Jonathan says, "I just ran out of regular tape. I had to use the double-sided. This last gift is going to stick to all the others."

There is really nothing else to add here, except, I love, love, love that man.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Wordless Wednesday

"A good conversationalist is not one who remembers what was said, but says what someone wants to remember." John Mason Brown

I had my first conversation with Chubalicious the other day! A whole, meaningful conversation. An exchange of ideas, back and forth, give and take. It went like this:

Chaubalicious: Mama? Mama? MAMA? MAAAAMAAAA?

Me: I'm back here.

Him: Mama, MamaMamaMAMA

Me: Right here, Bud, whatcha need?

Him: All done (handing me his empty cup).

Me: Okay, thank you, need anything else?

Him: No (walking out of the room).

I didn't say it was riveting conversation but a milestone, nonetheless.

From the Pregnant Chicken

I love this and it couldn't have come at a better time for me. 

Why You're Never Failing as a Mother

November 09, 2012/ Amy Morrison .

I’ve gotten a lot of emails from women saying they feel overwhelmed by motherhood. Not in a dangerous way, just in a “I totally suck and I don’t know how I’m supposed to manage all this” kind of way.

To this I say, you’re not supposed to.

If you think about it, if you had a baby thousands, if not hundreds of years ago, you would have had your mother, all your sisters (all of whom were probably lactating), and your nieces all taking care of your baby. They would help with food preparation, show you how to manage, and make sure your baby wasn’t eaten by a bear. Your kid’s feet probably wouldn’t have touched the ground until they themselves would be able to carry around an infant.
Back then the point of a child was to have free labour in the fields and someone to take care of your old ass down the road, and not much more.

As for the past generations that like to tell you that they raised six kids on their own and did it without a washing machine? Well, sort of. Keep in mind child rearing was viewed pretty differently not that long ago and you could stick a toddler on the front lawn with just the dog watching and nobody would bat an eye at it – I used to walk to the store in my bare feet to buy my father’s cigarettes when I was a kid. As a mother, you cooked, you cleaned, but nobody expected you to do anything much more than keep your kids fed and tidy.

My grandmother used to tell the story about how she forgot my mother at the grocery store in the early 40s. She walked up to the store with my mother sleeping in her carriage, parked it outside with all the other sleeping babies (I’ll let that sink in), went inside to do her shopping, then walked home forgetting that she’d taken the baby with her. She quickly realized her mistake and walked back and retrieved my mother who was still sleeping outside the store.

There were no flashcards, there was no sign language (unless you were deaf), there were no organic, free-range bento boxes – your job was to just see a kid through to adulthood and hope they didn’t become an idiot.
Hey, I’m not judging, and I’m not saying one way is better than the other, but I’m just saying that we are part of a generation that considers parenting as a skill. Like a true skill that needs to be mastered and perfected and if we don’t get it right we think our kids suffer for it and that's hard shit to keep up with. That's not to say other generations didn't have it tough or think parenting was important, but there just wasn't the same level of scrutiny that could be liked, tweeted or instagramed all at once.

You are in the trenches when you have a baby. To the untrained eye it seems pretty straightforward and easy – you feed them, you bathe them, you pick them up when they cry – but it’s more than that. It’s perpetual motion with a generous layer of guilt and self-doubt spread on top, and that takes its toll.

Feeling like you also need to keep on top of scrapbooking, weight loss, up-cycled onesies, handprints, crock pot meals, car seat recalls, sleeping patterns, poo consistency, pro-biotic supplements, swimming lessons, electromagnetic fields in your home and television exposure, is like trying to knit on a rollercoaster – it’s fucking hard.

We live in a time when we can google everything, share ideas, and expose our children to amazing opportunities, but anyone that implies that they have it figured out is either drunk or lying (or both) so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Your job is to provide your child with food, shelter, encouragement and love, and that doesn’t have to be solely provided by you either – feel free to outsource because they didn’t just pull that “it takes a village” proverb out of the air.

Mommy and Me classes, homemade lactation cookies, and learning Cantonese is all gravy, and if you can throw them in the mix once in a while, good on ya, Lady. I have about 9,000 things I've pinned on Pinterest and I think I've done four of them which is fine by me because those are above and beyond goodies, and not part of my just-scraping-by norm.

It’s an amazing and exciting time to have a baby right now, but always keep in mind, no one has ever done it like this before – you are pioneers that have to machete through the new terrain. Chin up. Hang in there. And remember, you’re doing a great job.

http://www.pregnantchicken.com/2012/11/9/why-youre-never-failing-as-a-mother

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Birthday to the Notorious MRA

MRA turned three recently. It seems like just yesterday we were waiting for him to decide to join us on this side of the womb world. And now, he is three!!!!!

He is slightly obsessed with Micky Mouse and Donald Duck and the rest of the gang. The other day he asked about a bow tie. He wanted one. Mickey wears one, I noticed. I quickly ran upstairs to get the clip on bow tie from last year's easter outfit.

MRA loved it. He wanted me to clip it into his hair. It seems that is where Minnie and Daisy wear their bowties.

So with this fascination in mind and inlieu of a birthday party, we asked that God have mercy on our souls (and feet)  and went to Disney.

Pictures coming soon.

Wordless Wednesday

Show and tell and do your do

Now that MRA is in his big boy pre-school class, he gets to bring something for "Show and Tell" every Wednesday. The rules are it has to fit into their back packs and nothing pointy or weapon related.
I remember how exciting "Show and Tell" was as a child. Although I also remember it being a little stressful when I did not have anything worthy of showing or telling about.

Last Wednesday I get a text mid morning from my husband asking me to guess what MRA brought to school. We had talked about him bringing one of his new birthday presents so that was my guess, naturally. But, no, not my kiddo. He didn't bring one of the new matchbox cars that Aunt Robin gave him, he didn't bring the way cool saxophone that we gave him, or the Mickey Mouse that Nanna and Babba gave him.

What did he bring, you ask?

The blow dry hair (My hair dryer). Yep, its not a weapon and it fit into his backpack (and he is obsessed with small appliances).

I thought, what in the world is he going to tell everyone about the blow dry hair and what does the school think of this? I really couldn't help myself, I called the school. Ironically, the school thought that I would be upset? (Which I was not.) The director and I had a good laugh about it and I finally asked her if she knew what he told his friends about the blow dry hair. She didn't but put me on hold to go find out.

When she came back, she said (trying very hard to be serious but having a hard time hiding the humour) that MRA did a really good job and told everyone that after he takes a shower, his Mama dries his hair with it. Of course he wanted to plug it in and show everyone but the teachers didn't go for that.

So, I guess after everyone shares, the kids get to play with their items which is what was happening when the director ran down to get the scoop for me. MRA had "plugged" the blow dry hair into the window of the dollhouse and was drying three or four of his friend's hair.

The teachers, apparently, had a lot of fun with it. They said they thoguht he was going to pull out some little pink hair dryer toy from his back pack - not his Mamas 1700 watt Conair.

My husband and I can only shake our head and laugh. Sounds pretty much like the Notorious MRA to me.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

The Dangers of Co-sleeping

I bet you read the title and thought this post was going to be some rant against co-sleeping with me spouting statistics about mothers rolling over and smothering their babies, or something. Truth is, I know many a mother who co-sleep. None have rolled over and smothered their baby and all are quite happy and healthy.

In fact, if anything, this post is the opposite. I have been quite careful about not sleeping with my babies. Mostly because I would like it. A lot. I would like it a lot until I wanted to sleep with my husband again and at which point I am certain the babies would not appreciate my departure. As much as I want to sleep with my babies, I am not willing to deal with the consequences of breaking that habit.

But this weekend, all the babies (and one husband) fell a little ill. And for one short, little half hour, my lil ASA fell asleep on me while we were playing on my bed. It was the sweetest, most delicious half hour in the history of ever. I got to lay there and smell his baby head and listen to him breathe and think how wonderful the feeling was.

Then my arm fell asleep and we both got really hot and a little sweating. At which point his head didn't smell quite as sweet and I thought I am ok not sleeping with my babies.

But the 30 minute nap sure was divine!

Wordless Wednesday

Somebody's Watching Me

MRA is about to turn three. We went away for the weekend, came home, and he seemed to mature over night. He is like me little BIG boy now.

Since his birthday is the day after Halloween, we decided to have celebrate it on Sunday when both sets of grandparents could be there. He was so excited. And the gifts were spot on this year. Mickey Mouse, a pile of books, a saxophone, a fireman's hose, pajamas, and matchbox cars! There was also the little singing owl.The kiddo is heaven.

The next morning he tried his best to carry it all to school with him.

And he just loves his little sax. I gotta get this child into some music lessons.



Wordless Wednesday

When Its Over, Its Really Over

Sometimes it feels like we have been potty training MRA FOREVER. He has the pee thing down fairly well but the poop thing is still hit or miss. There are days at a time where he uses the potty followed by what seems like weeks at a time of cleaning out poopy underwear.

The other day, though, we had a successful potty experience and decided to reward MRA with a trip to Chick-Fil-A after school. Sadly, one there, the playground was closed and Chubalicious wasn't cooperating.

Jonathan decided to take Chubalicious home leaving me with the Notorious MRA. I tried to make it fun. I told him we were on a date. This is how it went:

Me: Its like a date. An MRA and Mama date!

MRA: A date?!

Me: Yes, a date. When we leave, you are going to have to open the door for me.

MRA: I can open the door.

ME: You should open the car door too. That's what gentleman do on dates.

MRA takes two bites of his sandwich and crawls under the table and out of the booth and begins goofing off in the aisle.

ME: What are you doing?

MRA: Dates over!

I guess I pushed it too far with the car door?

BOO!

Yes, Chubalicious. If you put a blanket over your head and walk around, Daddy and I will HAVE NO IDEA where you are.

Love this baby and just in time for Halloween. Maybe I need to rethink his costume???

Let's talk About Sex

Actually, let's talk about with whom its appropriate to talk about sex. In my opinion, the list includes my husband, my girlfriends, my sister, my sister-in-law, and I am sure I am leaving some one out but... who?

More importantly, maybe, is the list of people with whom it is NOT appropriate to discuss sex. This list includes parents, and aunts and uncles when the topic involves your own parents. Same goes for my parent's friends.

Sorry, I don't want to hear it. Quite frankly, my mom is the most asexual person I know. If you had been listening in on the our "Birds and Bees" conversation, you would understand. I am not sure there could have been a more clinical explanation. And at the time, it sounded gross. Love and passion were not even a possiblity. It was something a man and a woman did to have a baby (which I am not denying is true, but, clinical nonetheless).

As a result, I am sure the only times my parents have had sex resulted in pregnancies with the exception of the time I walked in on them, when I was, like, five - which also, convieniently, explains why there was no resulting pregnancy.

Now, you can imagine my shock and disgust to read responses to several emails my mom sent to... well, almost everyone she knows regarding how romantic the city of Venice, Italy is and how much she and my father are enjoying themselves.

First, from one of her best friends (a woman who I adore), an email inquiring if we should be expecting an addition to the family as a result of this trip.

This comment took me by such surprise that it took me a few minutes to realize that she was referring to my parents. At first I thought it was me and then I thought that surely she knows I had my tubes tied. Maybe she thinks my sister is pregnant but she is not on a trip. Then, finally, came the eeew eeew eeew revelation that she was talking about my 70 year old parental unit.

That is when my eyes started burning a bit.

THEN, my Uncle chimes in with this, "…..so let’s test your  hypothesis, since your arrival in the “Most Romantic City” two days ago,   how many times have you accomplished the deed?"

Whhaaaattt? That is when I think I went blind for a few minutes and emailed everyone with a cease and desist request.

Of course my 70 year old mother tries a witty comeback and responds with, "wouldn't you like the real story....sorry....classified." Except, she sends it to me instead of my Uncle (insert major hand slap to my forehead here).

Yeah, she couldn't possibly be "accomplishing the deed" when she can't figure out who to reply to, right? Never mind I don't want to think about it.

I am so thankful I married a man with a normal family. They are coming to visit next week. And, they bring me yummy coffee drinks and I am sure we won't talk about them having sex.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Wordless Wednesday

That's the Deal!

It has come to my attention that when speaking to MRA, my husband uses the phrase, "That's the deal," quite a bit. He says things like, "No, you can't watch Mickey Mouse because you did not stay in your room until your clock turned green. Remember? That's the deal."

MRA, however, does not quite understand that a deal, by definition, is an agreement entered into by two or more parties for their mutual benefit. In his world of one, a deal simply means, he can do whatever he desires.

So this how deals work with MRA:

Me: "MRA, why are you pulling Cooper's tail?"

MRA: "Because, Mama, that's the deal."

I need to reassess my negotiating skills.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Pet Peeves and Panty Lines

Everyone has at least one pet peeves. Most people have a few.

I am no exception. I have several. One of which is panty lines. I hate seeing panty lines. I hate looking lumpy under my clothes. I have enough body lumps without my undergarments adding to the issue.

Because of this peeve, I often opt for a thong with flat seams. However, the other day, I decided to try out a bikini brief from Victoria Secret advertised to not show any panty lines. It was a pretty pink floral pattern.

That evening, for some unbeknownst reason, MRA walked into my room, lift up my dress and exclaimed, "Mama! Those look like Nanna's underwear. You should take those off. You should take those off and give them to Nanna!"

I won't be wearing those panties again.

I also won't be giving them to Nanna.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Who ME?

Yes me. I am, apparently, that mom. But then if I didn't embarass myself in public from time to time, there would be a lot less to blog about.

In the latest chapter of, "No You Did Not!" which could also easily be called "Doesn't Your Mama-ness Have A Filter?", I took MRA to his first non-survival swimming lesson. These lessons are at a local YMCA, which, might I add, has an incredible swim team that is competitive at the national level. So clearly, thier instructors have NO idea what they are doing, right?

Now, we just came off a vacation where MRA astounded the parents in the pool of our hotel with his aquatic abilities. We repeatedly received compliments especially after people found out that he is merely been on this planet two and a half years.

See, mad skills:



So I show up at the pool with quite a bit of swagger. I was expecting some oohs and aaahs. I got none.

The instructers took MRA back to a very basic level. I mean basic like sit on the step and put your chin in the water because some kids are scared to put their heads in the water - basic.

After some time, they progressed to making him "swim" holding onto a barbell. Of course, he "swam like a dog with his head up because, well, what else do you do with a bar bell in a pool.

It was about this time that I may have walked over and mentioned that MRA can put his head under water and will swim to you if you stand back.

I was told they were trying to teach him proper form.

And I sat back down.

Then, I had to endure them trying to teach him how to float on his back holding the dumbell across his chest. Of course, he kept trying to sit up because who floats with a dumbell across their bodies. Oh, I was squirming and pacing and mumbling and thinking of what I was going to say to those instructors to get them to JUST STAND BACK AND LET MY KID SWIIIIIIMMMMM like the fish he is.

So, after the lesson, I dressed MRA and then I MAY have made those instructors watch vacation videos of MRA swimming on my phone. And the whole time, I was thinking, "Oh My God, you are so totally THAT mom."

I'm not proud. I made my husband take MRA to class the following week. 

Wordless Wednesday

We Had A BALL!

Chubalicious celebrated his 1st birthday recently. Because he loves the ball so much, we went with the theme. I had these great invites made by Paper and Cake. They did a great job and also made thank you notes and food labels that matched.

It turned out to be one of the easiest parties I have ever put together. Sticking with the ball theme, we had lollicakes (from the Lollicake Queen), and sugar cookies with bouncing balls from Sugar Me Dessererie. They did a great job of matching the invitations!

Of course there were fruit balls and meatballs and shrimp boulettes. We also had a caprese ball salad and a cheese ball. For drinks, we had a Midori melon ball punch and Eight Ball beer as well as sodas and water.

 

The decorations were super easy - balls everywhere. And maybe a few paper lanterns and streamers.

I think that you can't have a great party without great friends. I have made some of the best Mama friends. They made the party so special and we had a great time. It meant so much to us to celebrate with them - all the children who came and us Mamas have known each other since these babies were just a few weeks old. Now look at them all.

Of course MRA was in on the action, too.

The smashing thing took a little bit of time to figure it out. I am sure he was confused by this thing set in front of him, however, when he decided to go for it, he went full on.

My only regret... not having a better picture of these cuties!

The party was a few days prior to Chubalicious' actual birthday. This meant we got to celebrate it again - this time at Steak and Shake for a first milkshake!

Happy birthday my dear, sweet Chubalicious. You make the world go round and we love you way, way more than you know! XOXO

Wordless Wednesday

50 Shades of Wrong

I love it when my husband surprises me with photos of the kids during the day. It doesn't happen often but when it does, its usually something good.

Yesterday, I received this little gem.

Yes, those are my boys.

Lying in the dog's bed.

Under blankets.

And, yes, MRA is perusing "Lone Survivor" while ASA has seemingly read "50 Shades of Grey" in its entirety. I am very thankful that there are no illustrations here and am also wondering if the next knock on the door will be Child Protective Services.

Happy Friday everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Johnny Be Good

We've been gone. Away on Vacation. I have a lot of thoughts on this, but, not in this entry. This entry is all about some Chubalicious.

One of the things that I love about babies and small children is that they are not afraid of rhythm or music. They don't care whether they sing off tone or clap to the beat.

Babies seem to just feel music and let it move them instead of trying to move to the music. I think as we get older, we are more aware of rhythm and our lack of it. We seem to be a little more afraid to move to it (without some liquid courage anyways.)

I love watching my two boys enjoy music. I hope its something they will love all their lives.

Give me Liberty or Give me...some Tempura paint

MRA had his annual Fourth of July celebration at school. This year his class made costumes and dressed as the Statue of Liberty. I thought they did a good job.

Some people have asked why the costumes are green? Which makes me want to ask them if they have ever seen the statue of liberty or what color they think she might be? The funniest part is that they ask the question with such indignation, like, "How dare the school mispaint the costumes. What idiots."

                                                 
But I am pretty sure she has ALWAYS been green.